Making the Final College Decision
This time of year, I am constantly asked-
"How will we make the final decision?"
This is a great question. Why? Because if you're not asking it, you're much more likely to make the wrong decision than those who ask it.
The best school, college prestige, and highest ranking often dominate the decision process.
I'm not disputing people's interests in those things, but I can say this with 100% certainty. If your child is unhappy and unmotivated with the college environment after a month or two, its prestigious name and ranking will wear off fast.
When it's decision time, I will ask the student-
Where do you want to wake up 1,000 times to the sounds, sights, smells, and feel of a college?
Parents, I understand your interests. However, the student has to wake up someplace 1,000 times, be motivated, and not be overwhelmed. The difference will feel like the width of the Atlantic Ocean.
One thousand times waking up ... let that settle in before making a decision. Your child will be thankful.
One of the two most important life decisions is choosing a college.
"I have friends who will be going there and I'm going to room with my best friend!"
Oh no... I've heard that way too many times. I've also heard a year later that they are no longer friends.
It seems time-appropriate to post on this topic-
Factors to never consider in choosing a college:
Factors to always consider in choosing a college:
Choosing a college is one of the two most important life decisions ever... choose wisely!
The other important one? Choosing your life partner... I'm no help there, ha!
As she cupped her forefinger and thumb, "C you at home" were the last words Marie spoke to her son while dropping him off at college—UMiami.
I know, I heard it live. And it got her son's attention!
In my 15 - 20 years working in this profession, those are the wisest words I've ever heard from a parent... not the second or third wisest... the wisest!
So that everyone catches the context here, Maria was informing her son that if he gets a "C" in any course, he will not be permitted to return to college.
Marie's approach was very direct. This was no idle threat. Her son called me two weeks ago to help him in a class that worried him about getting a "C".
C's reflect a sizable deficiency in one's understanding of course content. It's compounded by putting a student in a weak position going forward in higher-level classes.
I don't like weak positions. Why not? Success is not attained from a position of weakness.
Here's my theme for today's memo-
The unspoken secret to academic success is "mastering the content."
Why is it unspoken? Because it implies harder work!
The bigger the ambition, the harder the work. Success is built upon mastering the content.
This doesn't begin in college. Rather, it begins in the early stages of high school- 9th grade.
It's important to master the content early to build upon that mastery later. It will play forward through college.
"C you at home." Thank you, dear Marie!
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In a recent article- Valedictorian with 1590 SAT Score Rejected from Every IVY League School, lessons were learned.
Limmy, a 1590 SAT student and Valedictorian, thought his academic credentials were enough to warrant submitting applications to all the IVY colleges. When the results came in, he and his family were shocked. He had not received a single acceptance.
So, what happened?
Limmy is an outstanding student, academically qualified to receive substantial consideration from any college. But there's more that goes into winning acceptances at top elite colleges, and that includes a strategy.
Let's look at the approximate "yield" rates of IVY colleges. The yield rate reflects the percentage of accepted students who enroll.
Yale- 65%
Harvard- 70%
Brown- 65%
Columbia- 65%
Dartmouth- 60%
PENN- 70%
Cornell- 60%
Princeton-70%
Limmy's denials were predictable. The strategy to apply to all IVY colleges was misguided.
Here are the two primary reasons why.
1) The private college business model depends on hitting the targeted yield rate. Admission counselors are evaluated on their yield rate. The admission counselor must believe the student will enroll at the likelihood of the school's stated rate to offer an acceptance.
For yield rates over 50%, the admission counselor can only feel that high of a probability from their Early Decision applicants.
When a student applies to high-yield colleges with any application status other than ED, they know the student's preferred college choice is elsewhere.
It does not mean the student is not qualified. It simply means that the admission counselor doesn't believe the student will enroll at the stated rate, 60% - 70% in these cases. The denial decision is easy to make.
2) When students get bogged down in writing complicated supplemental essays for multiple colleges, they get distracted from focusing on the few preferred colleges.
Being distracted happens when students apply to over ten colleges. They will not follow up properly with their preferred colleges because they are too busy chasing others. They will unlikely be attentive to their applicant portals.
While Limmy was accepted to some other great colleges, such as Georgetown, if he wanted to attend an IVY, he needed to focus more of his attention there.
The lesson here is simple. The more applications submitted, the fewer acceptances will be received from their top-choice colleges.
This lesson applies to all levels of colleges, not just the elite colleges. Admissions is a numbers game governed by their yield rates. The better we understand this dynamic, the higher success we will have in winning acceptances into our preferred colleges.
My strategy is to focus on the top 6 -7 preferred colleges getting those applications submitted early, and keeping close communications with their decision-makers. After that, we will consider a few other applications to supplement our overall strategy.
CollegeLogic students have a long history of winning acceptances into their top colleges. Our strategy and student focus are good reasons why.
When it comes to college, kids need their parents to be on top of their game more than ever. Parents who are not current in their understanding will compromise their chance of getting it right.
College is no time to come up short. The gap between right versus wrong is big. It's perhaps the size of the Atlantic Ocean.
Parents who defer to their children or the school's guidance counselor to navigate the complexities of the college process live in oblivion to its significance.
College represents the "Transformational Bridge" taken by a teenager to becoming a young adult.
Who possibly wants to leave this to chance and the random outcomes that result?
It's not that parents consciously choose to leave it to chance. But, it's the default outcome of not being actively involved from a position of strength based on knowledge and conscious intention.
The 2022/ 2023 Admissions season has changed the landscape of college admissions. Tens of thousands of parents are in disbelief of their results.
Excuses are running wild. While there is no excuse, there are reasons. The number one reason is they left it all to random chance.
Random chance occurs when-
On the flip side, my role is to put your child on a path of success and satisfaction. We achieve when-
When you approach college this way, you will substantially increase your odds of getting college right for your child.
Through the angst of this current college season, my CollegeLogic students and families are thriving. None of it has resulted from applying random chance to our process.
I advocate for your child to live the life they want for themselves, which may differ from the life you desire for your child. Please accept that.
I support parents to live life forever knowing they got college right for their kids without bankrupting themselves. Perhaps you will appreciate this.
Our ultimate responsibility is to put these precious children on a path of true success and satisfaction.
I don't understand. My son got deferred while other students having lower GPAs were accepted.
I don't understand. My daughter got denied while having a 1520 SAT score.
I hear it often, and they're right. Most people don't understand how college admissions work.
First off, GPA and SAT/ ACT scores are applied to pass the application through the initial 10-second glance. For applicants who get into the system for further evaluation, the ultimate decision is made based on the importance of the remaining factors. Each college weighs the remaining factors differently.
But let me be clear, applying "test-optional" is not an option for my students. Test-optional is a highly compromising application decision. The SAT score was more important this year than ever before.
Save- "My child doesn't test well" for others. People at the college level translate "doesn't test well" to "don't prepare well." Test-optional is the easiest 10-second decision made with applications.
Part 3- Factors Considered for Admission Acceptance
Understand, Admission counselors work for the college, not for you. They are employed to serve the business model of the college, which hinges on the conversion rate of acceptances to enrollments.
A higher conversion rate allows for lowered acceptance rates, allowing tuition costs to rise and scholarships to shrink. The work of the Admission Office drives the business model of the college. It's that important!
This equation is the essence of Enrollment Management. The admission counselors who manage it best get promoted, and the others get replaced.
Once an application passes through its initial Pass / Fail decision on GPA and Test scores, all decisions defer to a combination of the following ten factors.
Five measurables-
Five intangibles-
Before we get started on the subject of deferrals, here is a quick carryover thought from my recent article.
The college's strategy to lower "acceptance rates" to enhance the sense of "selectivity" directly results in higher tuition rates and lower scholarship offers.
BOOM, the big business of college is hard at work!
Part 2- The Surge in Deferrals
"Deferral" is suddenly the hot word in today's world of college admissions. It's also a new word to describe the college’s sales and marketing intention.
Definition: "Deferral" - to put off, postpone, or delay.
If you put yourself in the seat of a college admission counselor, you'll see why colleges sent out tens of thousands of deferrals during this application cycle.
It began a few years ago with colleges’ increased use of The Common App. Now over 1000 colleges accept the Common App, including State Universities like Texas, Maryland, and Penn State, which each began using the Common App this year.
Along with the rise in the use of the Common App came a false notion that students can increase their odds of acceptance by merely pressing a button.
Now, with nearly two million additional applications in the queues of admission counselors, for each application, there are four options-
Part 1. Application Inflation- Inside the Numbers
Application Inflation results from the admission strategies of colleges designed to boost their selectivity.
Early Action is a preferred college application strategy I use extensively to get my CollegeLogic students to submit applications in early October. In recent years, it was a strategy that yielded higher acceptance rates and increased scholarship offers. It also served well for students to learn earlier about their application decisions. But, the accelerated use of the Common App has changed all of that.
It's reflected in this season's admission results, disappointing tens of thousands of student families. Let's look at some numbers-
Applications increased this year by 1.6 million over the number submitted in 2020 without an increase in the number of applicants. This is called Application Inflation! It results from college strategies designed to receive more applications, resulting in lower acceptance rates and an enhanced perception of their "selectivity."
Many colleges received 30% more Early Action applications this year than in 2020. Some colleges implemented Early Action for the first time this year to alarming results.
Clemson offered Early Action this year for the first time. They received 26,000 EA applications with 32,000 Regular Decision applications. That's 58,000 applications to enroll 4,500 freshmen students.
USC offered Early Action for the first time. They received 40,000 EA applications with 80,000 Regular Decision applications. That's 120,000 applications to enroll 3,500 freshmen students.
The Univ. of Wisconsin received 45,000 EA applications with tens of thousands of Regular Decision applications to enroll 8,500 freshmen students.
These are staggering numbers!
What does it mean to the colleges?
It means that Application Fee income increased by over $120 million dollars, mostly received by the 50 or so most popular colleges.
It means that those college offices had thousands more applications to sort through. They can preach all they want about taking a "holistic" view of their applicants, looking beyond grades and test scores. But that's mostly hogwash. I am 100% certain that thousands of applications at top schools were either denied or deferred within 10 seconds of a counselor's viewing of them.
It means that these colleges' perceived "selectivity" has been superficially enhanced by manipulating to show a lower "acceptance rate".
It's Admissions Inflation. It's a well-designed strategy of the colleges. It serves them well, but it comes at the expense of student-family expectations, emotions, and outcomes.
On the flip side, their "conversion rate of acceptances to enrollments" will decline accordingly, but we'll address that later in the series.
What does this mean to you and me?
For me, I will continue to use Early Action to the benefit of all of my students. It's still the best way to go. We just have to be smarter and more aware of our approach.
For students, it's more important than ever for you-
These are the differentiating factors that create your unique advantages.
For parents, it's more important than ever for you to be on top of your game, be involved and engaged, and work from a knowledge-based position of strength.
Gone are the days when a college visit is nothing more than registering and taking a tour, an activity in which there isn't any meaningful relationship built.
Unless you're savvy, information sessions and tours are when colleges assume the strength position. That doesn't bode well for you.
My students are always required to meet an Admission Counselor at every college they visit. The results are greatly improved by doing this well, though it's clearly not something that most students embrace.
My parents work from a knowledge-based position of strength.
It takes plenty of advanced work to become good at this. It's a whole lot easier not to. The results are predictable either way!
]]>Give that a little thought, and then ponder this-
What college experience do you want your child to be absorbed by?
This is a life-defining question, yet, very few parents consider it.
Rather, most parents proceed ahead under the false belief that the rankings and high cost of college with all of its glory and prestige assure parents that it's right for their child.
The reality is that college is a transformational bridge, taking a kid/ teenager into becoming a young adult. The successful journey of college will ultimately be determined by how the child absorbs the total experience.
When a child chooses a college or a parent directs their child's choice, they choose an experience the child is made to absorb. It's not just rankings and prestige that count, which I don't think counts for a dime.
Rather, the college experience includes-
When it's all done, rankings and prestige will not have mattered in the slightest.
What will live on forever is the experience. Good or bad, students are made to absorb their experience.
With all that's riding on the line, as college choices are being made, can we choose the best college experience over choosing college prestige?
If you'd like to discuss what college experience is right for your child or a friend's child, let's talk!
You can't distinguish yourself from others by doing what they do.
Distinguish- to notice or recognize a difference between people or things.
It can work both ways- distinguish oneself well or be indistinguishable.
Indistinguishable- not able to be identified as different or distinct.
The world rewards people who distinguish themselves favorably, which is probably just 1 in 10 kids and adults alike.
High school and college students who distinguish themselves favorably will win college acceptances and desired job offers. You will hear their celebrations.
The others who default to being indistinguishable will be left wondering what happened. You will hear their excuses.
To be certain of being distinguishable, adopt this mindset:
This is how you will become better recognized as worthy of additional consideration and improved outcomes.
Do you want improved outcomes? Be distinguishable. Let's talk!
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"Hans, we've done our homework. This college is ranked higher than..."
Homework? That's not homework.
I hear this way too often as the reason for choosing a college, and it's a wrong reason. Why?
Because College Rankings are a farce!
Here's clear evidence for my point. Look at the Top 7 weighted factors that go into the U.S. News & World Report Rankings-
These 7 items make up 75% of a college ranking; it's preposterous!
Here are my top 7 factors. Wouldn't these much better represent a college's quality and value?
Wouldn't these factors serve you far better? Shouldn't this list be the focus of college rankings?
Here's the farce. You won't find any of these 7 factors in the calculation of college rankings.
Yet, people continue to chase and pay premiums for a college's ranking. It's why colleges make it a focus of their attention. It's reflected in their policies and student outcomes.
It's further reflected in parents' frustration as time goes by and expected outcomes are not delivered.
Why are the rankings done this way? Because the powerhouse colleges can manipulate those numbers to their advantage. Whereas, they can't manipulate my top 7!
Have I proven my point?
Do college rankings influence your thinking? If so, let's talk!
"Hans, I don't understand why my son was deferred while his best friend with a lower GPA was accepted."
I hear this all too often this time of year. The presumption that GPA stands alone as the primary qualifier for admissions is a pure fallacy.
SAT/ ACT tests- applying "test-optional" is a major compromiser of a student's credentials. A 3.65 GPA coupled with a 1400 SAT, or 31 ACT, is a far superior applicant than is a 3.80 GPA applying test-optional.
Rigor- a 3.65 unweighted GPA with 5 AP classes that give it a 4.05 weighted GPA (rigor value-.40) is a superior applicant over a 3.80 unweighted GPA with zero rigor value.
GPA, test-scores, and rigor values are three quick upfront variables that can be assessed within one minute of opening an application. These variables represent the initial academic credentials for which admission counselors will use to make a quick decision in disfavor of an applicant...and why not? You would do the same if you were them.
A favorable decision requires more than that.
State Universities will primarily make decisions based on an applicant's academic credentials along with their choice of major and state of residence. They need to fill majors and courses, along with adhering to "state-resident" policy. Their decision can be made in under two minutes allowing them to move quickly to the next application.
Private schools will look much deeper into an application before a favorable decision can be made. However, they too can make a quick decision in disfavor of an applicant if the initial credentials do not meet the college standards.
Upon the applicant passing through the initial evaluation, the process will move into the Activities, Common App Essay, and Supplemental Essay sections of the application for consideration.
They will look for and evaluate a student's substance from which they will make an admissions decision.
Herein lies the challenges and frustrations of colleges. It's not credentials that applicants lack, rather, it's their substance!
While student's credentials are on them to build, their perceived "substance" is on me. Let's see how.
Substance reflects upon a student's
This forms the foundation for a student to have and demonstrate real substance. It's what colleges look for in their applicants. It's a precursor for graduates to demonstrate value to possible employers!
All told, substance is a predictor of a student's realistic likelihood to succeed in achieving their true ambitions and internal desires; driven by an authentic and meaningful purpose; having the experiences, personal skills, and mindful approach to support it.
Substance is a really big deal. It's also the most common missing component in college applicants.
Paying $125,000 for the chance that a rabbit will pop out of the hat.
The root definition of "Prestige" is Presto- suddenly as if by magic.
"Presto" represents the end of a successful magic act.
"Prestige" represents the beginning of the magic act.
Prestige is purposefully created to allure people to falsely believe there's some level of magic involved during the act.
Many colleges have mastered this creation over many years to their financial gain. To "prestigious" colleges, the "rabbit" is their diploma. They get parents to believe in the added value of the diploma; that the "rabbit" assures their child's success will be magically granted upon them...presto!
There is clearly a layer of cost associated with the perception of prestige, be it for colleges, homes, cars, restaurants, and other items.
For colleges, I estimate the cost of "prestige" to approximate $25,000 per year.
So I ask, does paying $100,000 more make for a better college experience and outcome?
Does paying $30,000 more for a car make for a better driving experience?
I don't think prestige makes for better college experiences and outcomes nor better cars. I think prestige often serves to satisfy people's egos and sense of status.
That doesn't work for me! There is no magic in college. Rather, the magic can only come from within the student. Success can be earned and attained. It can't be bought.
One of my roles is to turn the imaginary belief of college into a real sense of intention, driven by purpose and meaning; to understand the reality of its-
Part of my responsibility to student-families is to get them away from chasing the notion of prestige. Why? Because it's a misleading variable for success.
What's real is that success and satisfaction is created by a student's mindset. It's driven by their willingness to be involved, engaged, responsible, and accountable in creating their unique path forward towards living the life they want for themselves.
I will use Syracuse University as my example.
Very few people include Syracuse in their initial thoughts about college. Rather, I frequently hear- Northeastern, Boston College, BU, NYU, Villanova, UVA, George Washington, Georgetown, and others.
What makes those colleges elite or prestigious, and not Syracuse?
It's not the success of its graduates. It's more associated with college rankings, acceptance rates, tuition cost, intensely pressured Early Decision enrollments, and fortified by an arrogant attitude.
It all serves to get parents to beg for their child's acceptance and their willingness to pay the full price. It's the strategic-hype of colleges that people buy into for the bragging rights that come with it.
Those bragging rights will soon cost $400,000 for a four-year degree at many colleges.
That's not what I look for in the college experience for my CollegeLogic students and their parents, and it's not what Syracuse University is all about.
I safely say that students attending Syracuse, and many other similar colleges, can gain an equivalent education, inspirational experience, and improved outcome (jobs) as students attending other so-called prestigious colleges. And the parents don't have to pay the extra 100K in hopes that a rabbit will pop out of the hat.
I work to get families to replace their belief in the hype with a clear perspective for the reality.
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Ten years ago, I had the pleasure of sitting and talking about higher education with one of the brilliant educators of our time, Marla Brady.
We were talking about the repeat mistakes that parents make year-after-year.
I asked Marla- "Why do you think parents keep making the same mistakes?"
She said- "Hans, it's quite simple. Colleges are masters at molding their interests into the behaviors of society."
That thought has stuck with me everyday since then and it's continued to be proven out every year. The 2022 Admission season is no exception.
I can call these 7 things- lessons learned. Or, I could just say that every parent is far better off if they'd learn the perspective of the college. Parents should know better what colleges want from them because they know how to get it.
Seven 2022 Lessons Learned
# 1- Test Optional is no longer optional. The results are clear that colleges much prefer to receive strong SAT/ ACT test scores from an applicant. They may remain test-optional, but that is to serve their interests, not yours!
# 2- Barely beating deadlines is no strategy for your admissions success. The results are clear that colleges much prefer early-submitted applications. The best results come from applications submitted by October 15th.
# 3- Poorly written essays are a sure-fire way to be turned down. Few high school students would be considered good writers...maybe 2 out of 10. The rest are bad. Colleges put this to a test, and, it isn't working well for poor writers.
# 4- Just hitting the "Submit" button isn't enough. These are the days of Applicant Portals. They must be attended to on a timely basis. Proper follow-up is a necessary habit in this process.
# 5- A high GPA does not make a student "elite" college qualified. It's typically a big mistake to think that the student is suddenly qualified to attend elite colleges based strictly on their GPA.
# 6- The application strategy to "cast a wide net" is a faulty strategy. It results in many rejections. The colleges can simply see through it all.
# 7- Believing that applying to more colleges is better than less colleges is a fallacy. Applying to more colleges will result in a lower likelihood of being accepted into the preferred colleges. Why? Because students are distracted away from their follow-up and follow-through with preferred colleges.
Marla was spot-on back then and she's still spot on today. These mistakes are repeated year-after-year.
They result from college policies and intentions to drive up the number of applications by making it easier to apply; to lower their acceptance-rate to appear more selective; to drive up tuition-rates; and, to coerce parents to spend more money...BOOM!
It all begins with what families hear during college Informational Sessions. It's continued with what families see during college Tours.
It's all wrapped up in how the college molds their specific interests into the behaviors of society- targeting parents and guidance counselors!
Thank you Marla!!!
None of that has to be your story though. You can know better and you can avoid these mistakes.
We're here to help...it's what we do!
When I was 16, I was a top golfer, good student, nice kid- shy and bashful, having college plans ahead but not having given it much thought.
By the time I was 22, I had attended two colleges, enlisted in the USAF, was at Ramstein AB in Germany on assignment...and married!
Those six years were anything but normal. But they did transform my life into becoming who I am today.
A couple of days ago, great friends- Jim and Linda, visited me in my new apartment. Linda peeked into my bedroom and said- "You made your bed!"
Jim quickly replied- "He was in the Air Force."
Indeed I was. Many things that I experienced and learned back then still stick with me today.
The 16 - 22 age range represents the most important transformational years in a person's life. I refer to college as the "Transformational Bridge", turning a teenager into a young adult.
Most parents treat it as a "normal" progression in life when children graduate from high school and quickly find themselves on a college campus. Most kids are not prepared nor ready for that transition. I was one of them...not ready!
The results are quite predictable. Important things are put off until they become urgent. Improper attention is paid to the process of being prepared, qualified, responsible, accountable...it's just easier that way.
People like it easy these days. But that approach comes at a price.
Most often, students land on the wrong campuses for the wrong reasons and study the wrong major for the wrong outcomes. Meanwhile, parents are willingly overpaying for college by tens of thousands $$$'s.
That doesn't have to be your story.
Parents can always do more to get your desired outcomes- be more proactive, have greater knowledge, strengthen your position, and, work more diligently to improve your approach.
Students need to be much more engaged and involved in the process- be better writers, be better able to express your passion and vision with meaning and purpose; build greater substance into their credentials and future interests.
Students need to learn how to create inspiration and attract positive energy. It doesn't come natural to many 16-22 year old's.
In the end result, students need to become "worthy of pay". Just hanging a college diploma on the wall doesn't make someone worthy of pay!
I hear all the same excuses year after year:
I don't hear excuses from families who get it right.
My student-families get it right. I get to hear their exhilaration when the happy results come in.
Inspiration draws positive energy. It doesn't come by accident. Rather, it arrives by meaningful intention, naturally and genuinely created.
The college success and satisfaction of my students is living proof.
The jobs that my students, from 5 - 6 years ago, have today are living proof.
Upon crossing the "Transformational Bridge", where the child lands is predictably good, and bad.
I prefer good. How about you?
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Did we get it right when it counted most...college that is!
Not college for us, ha, my college career spanned a few years with a 5-year stint with the USAF stuck in the middle of it. I graduated as a 27-year-old.
I went to work right away in Public Accounting and had my CPA secured soon thereafter. I think things worked out well. At least my Mom always thought so.
However, Mom felt a sense of need to apologize to me 20 years later for not doing enough to help me get college right. She felt that she needed to apologize to once and finally get the burden off her shoulders. Can you imagine that?
Much of that inspired me to do this work. Sure, I do it expressly to help kids live the life they want for themselves. But I also knew clearly that I can help parents get college right for their kids, living without the burden of their mistakes made when their kids needed them most to be on top of their game.
We all live quietly everyday with the internal secret of knowing whether we got it right or not.
While parents can fake it outwardly to the rest of the world, no one can fake it internally. Either you got it right or you didn't. There's no middle ground.
For those who get it right, they live forever being freed of the guilt that comes with getting it wrong.
You see, getting college right is definitely centered on your child's interests, but it has lifelong ramifications on parents.
And just to be sure, a last minute scramble to drop off the child at a so-called "elite" college doesn't constitute getting it right.
Paying $75,000 for an overpriced college doesn't constitute getting it right.
Making a FB post proclaiming how proud you are of your child doesn't constitute getting it right.
To rely on the school's Guidance/ College Counselor along with their Naviance "scatter-gram" college selection approach does not constitute getting it right.
Randomly applying to high-ranked schools with incomplete applications and horrible essays does not constitute getting it right.
Just getting applications submitted under the deadline with no follow-up or follow-through does not constitute getting it right.
This process cannot be an overnight effort. It can't be an after-thought. Rather it's a long time in the works.
I'm reminded of this every morning, including this morning when a parent announced to me that "We talked and we're ready to submit ED to Miami."
Months have gone into that decision...trips, airline tickets, hotels, visiting colleges, meeting counselors, building credentials, writing essays...the list goes on.
All that work results in exploration, self-discovery, and realizations, the things required to get college right.
Quick disclaimer...I am not a Psychologist. I more resemble a Bassist than a Psychologist, ha! I know a few Bass-lines and I know how this term applies to colleges in how they gain emotional-mastery over student-families.
Another disclaimer...I'm not bashing the colleges, rather, it's their business and they're great at it. I just want to awaken parents to the traps involved, aka- the hooks. Without further delay...
By tapping into the Psychological Blindness of many parents, colleges have become masters at manipulating adult behavior. Over the past 10 years, they've programmed "hooks" into their College Tours and Information Sessions designed to draw in the emotional interest of parents and their kids. Beware, that's market-manipulation at its best, a market owned by the colleges, driven by the parents.
Hooks for the parents, the market-makers:
• We have a 90% job-placement rate
• Your child doesn't have to know their major yet...we'll help them figure it out.
• We'll meet your financial-need at 100%
Hooks for the kids, the pawns in the game:
• You don't have to know your major yet...we'll help you figure it out
• We are test-optional
• Come see our beautiful new dorms
• Come see our amazing new cafeteria's
Parents jump onboard, kids jump on board, the psychological-hook is set.
Next come Financial Award Packages high in cost, low in awards, high in loans...high in anxiety!
Parents will often say-
• We'll do anything for our child, they deserve it.
• We'll find a way to pay.
• We owe it to them.
Kids often say-
• I love it.
• It's where I want to go.
• Please mom...or dad...
The hooks are set, the fish are being reeled in.
When student-families fall into this emotional trap, they drive the market- price upward. They become the market-makers. On that note, we can't blame the colleges. They are merely running their business with precision controls and influences.
They are doing what the market allows. The result?
We will soon have our first $100,000 per year cost of a college. Many more will follow suit thereafter.
Cost has doubled over the past 12 years or so. Many colleges have eliminated scholarship awards.
Student-families make many costly mistakes, not just in terms of dollars, but also in terms of the college experience and desired outcomes.
To their extraordinary success, colleges monetize the emotional-addiction that parents have for their children. I understand. I was one of them!
In the end, it's up to the parents to not fall for this trap. It's up to parents to be more savvy to what they are about to buy—COLLEGE.
Don't be a fish!
Do not fall for the illusion that colleges create for you. They don't have a 90% job-placement rate...none of them do!
Do not turn it over to your child to manage. They can't manage buying a home, a car, or a $300,000 college!
Do not think that your school's Guidance Counselor will help make sure that you're on top of your game. It's not their job, not their child, not their money.
Do get on top of your game. Be knowledgeable, be involved. Your child depends on you now more than ever before.
The stakes are too big to wait on being involved. The results are too predictable to not be on top of your game. The cost of getting it wrong will be felt forever.
Don't be a fish!
]]>The purpose of the Application Essay is to keep the reader on the application when at a moment in time they'd like to close the application with a denial.
Please understand that there's not a person out there who can't wait to read your child's 600 word essay, especially knowing they have another 1,000 of them in the queue.
They'd much prefer to quickly become disinterested, maybe confused, so they can get off it, hit the Deny button, and go to the next one...999 to go! If you were them, you'd be the same.
Our job is to keep the application open, moving the admission counselor towards their college's specific section where Acceptances are won.
Your $75 application fee doesn't buy you their time and attention. Only an essay that's interesting, easy to read, and meaningful to the applicant will keep them reading.
The bigger picture objective is twofold-
1) Enhance the reader's experience
2) Enhance the reader's feelings about the writer
Acceptances are not typically won from the essay, but certainly tens of thousands of denials result from misunderstanding its purpose.
The biggest, most common mistake is to keep pushing what you, the child or parent, want to say.
"I want to say..." doesn't work. How about focusing on what you want to convey...this works. It's a huge difference to understand, and not to understate.
The best essays result when the writer writes for the reader. The key is to know what message you'd like the reader to get and figure out how to deliver it.
If you confuse the message, mix up the theme, or misdirect the reader, it's a losing essay.
When it comes to this, parents are not good judges. I'm sorry, how can you be? Essays are written to enhance the experience and feeling of a reader who DOES NOT KNOW the writer.
Alright, enough said...has my message been well conveyed?
]]>As we enter the college application season, note that most of my students will have their top priority colleges applied to by mid-September. This is the application-acceptance strategy that works. There's a big benefit to submitting early applications.
My strategy is to prepare and submit the student's top 5-6 priority applications first, then focus on those colleges for direct follow-up and follow-through.
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There are three quick keys to distinguishing yourself from the pack.
As we look ahead to college and entrance into the workplace thereafter, I like to focus students on building their unique basket of skills and abilities, pursuing their true internal passion and desire, and then demonstrating real substance for who they want to become (fresh from last week's memo).
What does this have to do with homeless Veterans? Most don't have a pathway to build upon their skills and abilities, pursue their internal passion and desire, or demonstrate real substance. Unless they are cared for by great organizations like Homes for the Brave, who work daily with struggling Veterans in this way, they don't have people advocating for their interests.
My band Gold Dust is advocating for their interests. We are playing a dedicated show to support Veterans being cared for at Homes for the Brave. But we need your help. Will you please join us in advocating for their interests by clicking here to make a donation?
We thank them for their service.
I thank you for your support!
As we approach our July 4th celebration, think about who you can become.
Why? Because there's no place on earth like the U.S. for becoming the person you'd most like to become. But you have to have that mindset...and few do.
If accumulating achievements is what you're after, then that's how you'll be judged.
If becoming a kinder and gentler, considerate and caring person full of inspiration and encouragement to share with others, then that's how you'll be judged.
I'll leave it up to you to decide upon for yourself.
Me? I'm still working on what I can become. It's been a 50-year work in progress (I started after Little League, ha)!
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There are several ways to be told "No". If the learning-curve could talk, it would say- |
I love that quote...thanks Sean!
Parents most often validate and prioritize their own interests for their kids, over the interests of their kids. It's been the way of parenting for a long time...maybe forever.
It works well when it comes to pack-survival, but not when it comes to creating successful opportunities and satisfactory outcomes for kids as they're turning into young adults.
However, I see the beginning of a shift to occur. It's possibly inspired by the parents' response to the Covid-isolation of their kids.
In the last two years or so, I see a significant increase in a parent's willingness to better understand their child's deep internal passion and desire. And it's a beautiful thing.
So, here's my greatest tip ever.
The key to enabling your child to live the life that they most want for themselves, rather than the life you may want for them, is to be open-minded to hear their interests, validate their feelings, and prioritize their desires in life's most important matters—COLLEGE, for one. Just make it about them.
I simply call it- Validate and Prioritize!
Parents need to establish parameters, boundaries, and standards in raising children. But it's just as important to encourage and facilitate the child's exploration and self-discovery. This will lead to profound realizations which will then guide the pathway to a child's life success and satisfaction.
My greatest tip ever-
Validate and Prioritize, make it about them!